Under Pressure...I Caved

4th of July weekend, I took a trip home. My parents came and picked me up (yes) because my car is not working right now (that's another story). I got home late Friday night and chit chatted with my parents for a little while and then fell into bed. I was tired. The next day I was getting ready for a barbecue (that I didn't plan for) and was trying to manage my 2 months post relaxed hair. The two textures were driving me crazy but I was enduring. My mom comes in the bathroom and exclaims, "Why didn't you tell me you hair was like that? I could have put a perm on your hair!"What? My hair is like that? What is that? I asked her, "Is there a problem with my natural hair, the hair I was born with? What God gave me?" She responds slowly, "Well uh, no. It's just that it doesn't have a style. It would look better if you had a natural look."

A look? Do you even know what you're saying mom? Yes I understand that my hair looks awkward. I'm in a transitioning phase. There are two textures of hair on my head! I have yet to find someone who can do braids or another style that I want to help blend the textures. But do you of all people have to say negative things about that?

Saturday night, out of sheer frustration, I let her relax my hair. So she would stop talking about it. So my family would shut up and stop looking at me strange. So they could stop saying that if I didn't put a perm on my hair, my hair would get nappy and fall out. (Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that one out...) I hated every minute of it and the next day in church I kept thinking to myself that I felt very fake. Not truly who I was with this relaxed hair. I caved under pressure from the relentless sources of aggravation. I'm not proud of that at all. Hopefully, that will be my last relaxer. And if its not, then that should be my decision. Not because of anyone else and what they think about my hair. Like MJB says, "Just take me as I am or have nothing at all." I'm striving towards making this my mantra more and more everyday.